20 Ways to Decompress
In my book, GetReal, GetGOING: The Definitive Roadmap to Starting the Private Practice of Your Dreams, one of the things we talk about is the importance of decompression. I recommend a book that was helpful to me as I was building my practice, The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, Is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal, by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz.
In their book, Loehr and Schwartz draw parallels from their experiences between high-performance Olympic athletes and “corporate athletes.” They observe that professional athletes can physically train for only a set amount of time. Their regimens are rigidly set, with specific times for breaks, rest, cardio training, weightlifting, and massage. In contrast, corporate employees (and, I’ll argue, entrepreneurs!) are expected to work fifty weeks per year, more than forty hours per week, for twenty-five plus years—without a break!
They note that, "We live in a world that celebrates work and activity, ignores renewal and recovery, and fails to recognize that both are necessary for sustained high performance." The remedy that The Power of Full Engagement recommends is “stress then rest.” Work hard, play hard—and rest hard!
Ideally, we want to focus on work for a time and then take predetermined recovery breaks. A way to demarcate periods of stress, rest, and play is to establish rituals that signal to ourselves that we are moving into a different phase.
We should choose our rituals with intention. In GetReal, GetGOING we mention Deborah, who I think a lot of us can relate to: after a ten-hour work day and a ninety-minute commute, Deborah never felt ready for bed, even when she was exhausted. She craved more time for herself, so she began drinking a glass of wine to transition from being “on” at work. One glass became two and over time, an activity she adopted to feel better became a habit that was less than healthy and difficult to change.
When Deborah began having a glass of wine, she likely figured it was a short term solution, not the beginning of a permanent lifestyle. When we do something for 30-60 days, it tends to become an ingrained habit. Like brushing our teeth—not something we consciously “decide” to do each day, but something that it feels strange not to do! This can work to our disadvantage, if we turn too often to “quick fix” decompression aids like alcohol, drugs or food, but it can also work to our advantage, if we can make more therapeutic, restorative choices. You want to choose things that are rejuvenating and that you can do daily, in the morning, at midday, or in the evening.
Here’s a GetReal, GetGOING list of ideas for stress-busting rituals to add into your life.
Petting your dog
Deep breathing
Taking a bath or a dip in a hot tub
Meditating or practicing yoga
Walking—by yourself, with a friend, with the dog, or while pushing a stroller
Changing from “work clothes” to “comfy clothes”
Planning your next vacation, so you have something to look forward to
Cooking
Gardening
Riding a bike, motorcycle, or horse
Making art
Hugging someone
Fixing something
Building something
Listening to music
Reading a good book
Playing a game
Writing in a journal
Connecting with a friend
Dancing
Turn off the electronics for an hour
From my own experience, I know it can be hard to summon the willpower to perform renewal rituals especially at the end of a hard day! I recommend choosing your stress-busting routine and reminding yourself with sticky notes on your steering wheel and front door until it becomes a habit. You’ll soon find something that works for you!
